So I have been off potatoes since last Monday. With the family visiting this weekend, I decided to make a nice big breakfast. I made eggs, toast, pancakes, and corned beef hash. It was all very yummy but I am paying close attention today to see if the potatoes cause me any pain.
Yesterday, I mentioned how I was going to do my housework a little at a time. The results are rather mixed. I managed to get it done by just working for a few minutes and then resting. Hubby joined in and did his share as well. When Mom and sister arrived, I still had enough energy to visit with them and go see our other sister. Our eating situation was quite mixed up and we did not get to eat dinner until about 8 pm - which is really late for us. I usually take my second round of meds just after dinner (usually around 6 pm) so my meds were quite late. I had increased pain around 7 pm until bedtime but I really think it was because I hadn't taken my pain pill and it had simply wore off. Surprisingly I had enough energy that I didn't get tired until about 10 pm. Today, however, I am tired and will spend most of the day recuperating from the visit. I decided to have the hash with the potatoes since I do not have to work tomorrow and figured if I reacted to it, I would have some time to get over it.
We spent our visit talking about our family situation and I gave my Mom and sister information about the disease. I tried not to dwell on it but I informed them of what I am finding I can do and what I can't. How I may have to rest more than in the past and assured them that I am going to be as positive as I can regarding the situation. They were concerned that I may get depressed as I discovered more of the information regarding PsA. I assured them that I am going to try to look at it as an opportunity to help others become more informed and that the blogging helps me to stay positive.
Recently, I have realized how much the disease is effecting my job, and honestly, I don't know how much longer I will be able to teach effectively. I have been weighing my options and trying to discover a way to still make a living but be able to manage my pain and fatigue - but the answers are few. I have a lot of ideas but no idea how to bring them to fruition. My mind still works and my creativity hasn't been hampered by the disease however, my ability to make those ideas come to life is fading. This is probably the most depressing part to me. I don't have kids so the 'not being able to play with my children' isn't an issue. My husband has his own issues with movement so we actually will have that in common now. I have always been proud of my creativity - that I don't see things like everyone else - that I can see what things can be instead of just what they are. Now my challenge has become seeing what I can be instead of how I currently feel. My pain is not who I am. I am a fun loving, creative, entertaining individual not just a person with PsA. My disease does not define me as a person. I define it as a part of my life but not who I am. I am a wife, musician, educator, creative spirit, faithful, fiber artist, daughter, sister, talented person who just happens to have a disease.
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