I got some news yesterday that put me in a rough spot. My head says one thing but my heart says another. The turmoil between the two has put me under stress and caused me to not sleep well last night. I really should call in sick but I have a big meeting tomorrow that I have to plan for and can't feasibly do it. My body is already starting to flare and I had pain in the night for the first time in at least two weeks. I am sure stress is my biggest trigger but stress is something that is out of our control so I guess the key is how you deal with it. Without getting into too much detail, I am dealing with feelings that I can't change either. I may be trying to deal with something prematurely but it is captivating my thoughts and not allowing me to relax or focus on other things. Hubby tried to hold my hand but it hurt - I hate it when I have to ask him to stop doing something I normally love him to do. Stiffness is about a 4 this morning.
Meanwhile, my hands hurt, my feet hurt and are numb at the same time, my hips hurt, my lower back hurts, my thighs feel like they are swolen, the base of my neck is very stiff and hurting and my eyes are having trouble focusing. Not my best day. I didn't have any nightshade veggies since Tuesday and this is must be from the pressure. It is the days like this that make it hard to stay positive. I am always afraid I will snap at my students on days that I hurt. My patience is the first thing to leave when I don't feel well. No matter how I feel, life still happens and I have to continue going weather I like it or not.
Oh, I do not miss days like that! I'm so sorry you have to push regardless of all that is happening when what you really need is a heating pad and a comfy chair. Telling you to "hang in there" seems a little cruel, so I will resist the urge. Just know that the kids really do appreciate the days that you are there. Many of mine repeatedly told me that they would rather have me at my grumpiest than have a sub. :-)
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