One Crazy weekend

What a crazy weekend.  Hubby fell and hurt himself on Friday, I received word that one of my Aunt's was dying and passed away on Saturday, and today was auditions for the local theater.  It has been an emotional roller coaster.  My Aunt was a wonderful person who was an inspiration to me.  She and her husband raised 12 great kids together.  She gave me a place to stay while I was student teaching and has always been so sweet and nice to me despite the fact that I was the youngest of all the cousins.  She will be greatly missed.  Hubby is feeling better but still hurting.  Surprisingly, despite all the drama, I am feeling pretty good.
Well, I must be feeling better because I went to auditions today.  I haven't been in a show for a couple years but I miss it so much.  A few years ago, I landed the lead role in "Nunsense", I was the Rev. Mother Superior.   I allowed myself to audition for summer shows only since I don't have to work during this time.  The show I really want to do will be 3 hour rehearsals and in the evening so I think I would be more apt to be able to handle it.  I actually had to dance today as well.  Over all I did quite well but boy am I out of shape.  The show I want to get is very campy and funny - right up my alley.  I know I am taking a chance not knowing how my body is going to react but if I don't take the chance I will never know.  My medication seems to be working well and honestly, I want to do this while I still can do it.  Originally, I wanted to do musicals for a living but knowing the chances were slim, I went into education instead.

Friends and PsA

Last night, I was finally feeling able to go out with some friends and hang out for a while.  For the last year or so, it has been really hard to get together with friends as they always want to meet at night after work and I just don't have any energy left.  We all met in a water exercise class and due to different reasons, only a few of us are still in the class so we occasionally meet at a local watering hole and enjoy each others company.  One of the members has some health issues herself and completely understands my situation, however another keeps comparing PsA with Osteo and trying to tell me how to deal with it.  I have tried explaining that it is very different but she won't hear of it.  She is older than me and feels she knows more about it since she has had fibro problems as well as her arthritis and tends to make out that her problems are more acute and she can help me deal with it.  I love her dearly but I really don't need this right now as I am trying to figure out how to deal with it and  I actually have the disease.  I want to help others understand, but I keep thinking I must be coming across as feeling sorry for myself or some other negative way but yet I want them to understand why I cannot do everything anymore.  It is hard enough for me to figure out how things effect me without others trying to  tell me what I should or should not do.  I hide the situation well and do not complain a lot (or at least I try to) but I do know what my limit is and how much I can handle.  It is just so frustrating.  The other friend who has had a lot of health issues as of late, and I feel so bad that I haven't been there for her during this trying time but she does understand as she is limited on what she can do as well.
Meanwhile, my body is doing ok this week - only minor aches and pains, nothing too substantial.  I'm still avoiding nightshades but did have some pizza with just a little sauce this week and everything is still in check.  Along with the pizza, were cinnimon breadsticks which are wonderful.  Still trying to be a good girl and lose a bit of weight.  I'm looking forward to the weather warming up so I can get my bike out :)

First show of the season

Well, I went to the first fiber show of the season and survived.  I really missed my sister, it just isn't the same without her.  We are a team, she is the salesperson and I am the demonstrator.  It is going to be a hard adjustment to do these without her.  I tried to simplify and only took the fiber and yarn leaving most of the finished works at home but still managed to make my toes ache.  As far as set up and take down, I did pretty well.  I had to stop and rest my back when loading the car but overall, I can't complain.  By the time I got home, I was exhausted and still haven't taken things out of the car - that will be the plan for tomorrow. 

I managed to eat properly and avoided the tomatoes and potatoes but boy was I tested when I drove by a Fazoli's fast food.  They don't have them around my house anymore so I tend to stop when I see them.  Being Italian food, tomatoes are everywhere but I was careful and picked foods that did not have red sauce nor potatoes and managed to get my Italian food fix without them. 

I sat most of the day but my toes have been really bothering me.  I am even thinking about giving them a wax treatment to see if that helps - not really sure if my feet will fit in the container but I think it is worth a try.  It isn't even 8 pm but I think I am heading to bed.  I have to get back into the routine again but meanwhile my eyelids are super heavy.  Good night all!

Life changes everything

Not the best morning, hands and elbows are hurting.  On the scale I would say it is about a 5.  The weather has been up and down between rain, snow and sleet.  I did well regarding eating and even included some garlic to help with inflammation, however my right hand is swollen and my right elbow as well.  Both feet are hurting as well.  Neck is stiff  and lower back is feeling stiff as well.  My meds haven't kicked in yet but hopefully will help later.  Getting dressed hurt as well but I pushed through and even wore socks. 

There are so many things we take for granted.  Simple acts like putting on your socks can be comprimised with this disease.  Some days, putting on a bra is simply out of the question.  My hubby thinks I just don't like to wear them, the truth is that some days it really hurts to put it on.  I have had sock issues as well.  With all the body parts that like to swell, tighter socks can cause problems.  I have resorted to loose fitting anklets that are easier to put on and off which, of course, limits my choices of stylish socks.  Nylons are out of the question.  Shoes are questionable as well.  I still haven't found a pair that suits all my needs, instead I have a pair that fits for comfort but not exactly work appropriate (thank Goodness my boss understands what is happening with me and is allowing me to wear them).  Feeling as yucky as I am today, it makes me realize how really bad it was last summer.  I was in a lot of denial when I was feeling my worst - I just kept thinking it would go away and pushed through the pain.  At the time, I thought I was being positive but looking back, I was way worse off than I am now.  Even though I am still in pain, I am making it work and taking my mind off of it.  It gets worse if I dwell on it so I often try to do other things to take my mind off it. 

Rare Disease Day - Feb. 29th

I have decided to share information about my disease on Feb. 29th which is Rare Disease Day.  I have been going back and forth about telling people about it as I don't want to come across as trying to make people feel sorry for me.  However I do want them to have an understanding of why I have to limit what I do and that it is a legitimate disease. 

Physically I am doing well today, but mentally not so much.  I am feeling a bit depressed.  Hubby still isn't feeling well and I don't know how to fix him.  I, in turn, am feeling like I am not doing enough and maybe he is sick because I haven't been keeping the house as clean as he needs it to be.  I suppose it could be due to lack of sleep.  Haven't been sleeping well since hubby has been sick.  However, I have been having more energy than in the past.  I have a show next weekend and I am going to see if I can handle it by myself.   As far as the nightshade veggies go, I have been keeping away from them and it is helping. 

Staying positive

I haven't posted lately as I have been feeling quite good and have been keeping busy, however that trend came to a halt yesterday.  I knew that the extra long day of conferences would cause issues for me but I took it in stride and  tried to stay  positive.  When I finished last night, my feet were throbbing.  I really didn't think I was going to be able to sleep as the toe that had been acting up a few months ago, started to ache again but surprisingly I did sleep.  My feet felt like a cartoon - you know, when the appendage gets hit by a hammer and it turns red and gets big, small, big, small - I had trouble trying to relax because of the throbbing.  Thank God I only have to be at school for a half day today as I don't think I could make it a full day. 

I really need to blog more when I am feeling good.  So many times I just write when I have issues but then when I re-read it later, it looks like I have way more bad days than good and I really don't think that is right.  Since the last med change, things have been working quite well.  I haven't been as stiff in the morning;  the pain has been tolerable and not effecting my life as much;  even the fatigue has been better lately.  I realize that it is so very important to remember the good times - if we focus on the bad days, we forget the good and all it does is negate our lives.  From now on, I will be sure to blog on the good days as well.  Meanwhile, I need to get some more sleep. . .

Testing the tomato theory

Well, this week, my hands have been feeling great.  The change in medicine levels seem to have made a huge difference.  I have been trying to pay off the medical bills before they get outrageous so I am living on an extreme budget the next few months until I get everything back in order.  This in turn means that I need to eat food from the pantry and use up what we have before buying more.  Before I started researching more about PsA and what others were discovering about it, I thought I would try some new whole wheat canned pasta with meatballs so I bought a few then later realized I should not be eating tomato sauce.  Needless to say, it has been in the cup board for a couple months while I started experimenting with my diet.  Since the pain levels have been low this week, and I knew I would be home this weekend, I thought I would conduct an experiment.  I ate the pasta for dinner last night to see what would happen.  But no surprise, I was more stiff this morning, probably a 5 on my stiffness scale, however, my hands loosened up rather quickly.  It has been 3 hours since I got up and I am typing quite well.  The left hand is now fine but the right is still a little stiff and can only close to about a 1/2 inch gap.  As I said, I wasn't surprised that it was worse this morning but I am surprised that it isn't nearly as bad as I would have thought. 

This week the weather has been changing quite a bit and I do think it plays a part in pain management.  We got some snow yesterday but the effect was rather minimal.  This summer I plan to work on experimenting more with gluten and possibly dairy.  Speaking of dairy, I have a milk allergy (actual allergy, not just a sensitivity) as well as being lactose intolerant.  Milk and milk products make me physically sick if I eat too much and will act as a depressant as well.  However, since I have cut out the nightshades, I seem to be handling the milk products better.  This honestly, makes no sense to me but if it works, it works.  I will experiment more on this over the summer time when I have less responsibility and can afford to not feel the best. 

At this time - February 2012 - I have confirmed the following are triggers for my PsA:

Stress (probably the hottest trigger)
Potatoes
Tomatoes
Some aspects of weather